Starting Over
by calladragon
Summary: A snap shot moment of married life.


~Not a new chapter. Just me editing all the misspellings, typos, and extra words that shouldn't be there. There were a lot of them and I'm sorry. I'm still as bad at seeing the errors the first fifty read throughs as I've always been. Hopefully, I've gotten most of them this go around. ~Calla

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Merry Christmas and Happiest of New Years! I miss you all!

It's been a long time; but, I'm still alive and well. Still writing here and there when I have the time around my retail job. Mostly nonfiction now. Eventually, I'll get back to the romance genre. Maybe I'll even get around to finishing some of those Mentalist fanfics I started and promised not to leave unfinished. I still regret starting so many stories; but those fantasies were the most fun I've ever had writing. Jane was so diabolical; yet, so lovable. I loved playing with his character.

I want to thank my guest who just wrote me a review for Life Through a Different Color. I'm looking at it and I'll see what I can do. I had so many plans for that story when I started it and it's still one of my favorites. Hopefully something will spark, and I'll pick it back up around the nonfiction I'm working on now. We'll see. Either way thank you for the inspiring review. It's deeply appreciated.

In the meantime, I'm dipping my toe back in the waters with a fic that's more an anytime fic than holiday. As much as I wanted to write a sappy Christmas story, working six days a week since November took care of that. The inspiration just wasn't there. While not exactly what I planned on writing, I'm glad to finally write something Mentalist. ~Calla

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Looking around him, Jane closed his eyes and laughed out loud. He may have even danced a little jig a few steps back. But he wasn't owning that. Not for all the tea in China. However, he wouldn't deny anyone seeing him now would think he was three sheets in the wind at best. Crazy as a bed bug at worst. Either way, they wouldn't be wrong. He was drunk on happiness and out of his mind with joy. Why shouldn't he be? He'd beaten the odds and won everything he'd never hoped to have.

Not considering his past.

Opening his eyes, Jane walked down to stand by the lake. Turning around, he studied his fully renovated home. It had taken a lot of money and effort to get it done on time and, while he had helped from start to finish, he hadn't done the renovations on his own as he planned. Given a certain impetus, his deadline had changed. Who was he kidding? His universe had changed in a matter of seconds when he'd thought finally getting Lisbon was blessing enough.

Looking around him, Jane visualized his imperfectly perfect wedding day. They'd exchanged vows in front of family and friends over there across the lake and Lisbon had made her big reveal right here. Almost in the exact spot he was standing. Oh, and that serial killer idiot had dared to crash his ceremony in the house over there. Jane shook his head. What kind of twit thought to get vengeance on a cop on her wedding day? Surely anyone with one eye and half a brain would know most of the guests were packing. Not him.

Sitting in the familiar alcove with a smile on his face, Jane relived the moment Lisbon's palm came to rest low on her belly revealing a secret he never thought she'd have. He'd died a thousand tiny deaths when he'd grasped what she'd so eloquently conveyed through her gesture. His breath froze in his lungs. While a second chance at "marital bliss" with all its torments and traumas had gradually blossomed between them, that second chance at fatherhood seemed far beyond his grasp. He'd thought so anyway. His mate of choice was a hard-nosed lady cop who'd probably be more married to her job than him. He'd made peace with that idea before he'd ever popped the question. Just as he'd made peace with the idea he'd probably be back in law enforcement long before he expected just for the excitement of working with his wife again.

As much as part of him wanted it, Jane knew he would never ask Lisbon to alter her life to accommodate a dream he wasn't sure he was worthy to have. He'd failed abysmally at fatherhood the first time around. He'd failed at being a husband and lover. That Lisbon would let him put his ring on her finger was more redemption than he deserved to have. He couldn't ask for anything more. He wouldn't. She'd raised her brothers and paid her dues. Her life should be her own. If she wanted to take that tiny pill and forgo motherhood, he wouldn't stop her. The life they were building was more than enough.

Running his fingers through his hair, Jane reached down to grasp a rock and expertly skip it across the water. Watching the ripples disintegrate, he still couldn't believe she fooled him after all these months. That she'd pulled a fast one on him without him seeing it. Not that he should have. Lisbon knew him and knew him well. Well enough to know he'd occasionally snoop through her things so she'd disposed of her birth control as though she was taking it when she wasn't.

Somewhere along the way, her desires had changed. They'd either changed or he'd been wrong in his assessment in the first place. While either could be true, all that really mattered was Lisbon decided she'd give him a gift only she could give. The gift of family. He should have noticed she was up to something; but, he didn't. He'd decided Lisbon was more than enough long ago. In any capacity he could have her. If she never wanted children, he was fine with that. If she did, well, a man could dream. He could dream a lot of things. Some might even come true. If the fact she'd become his wife was faintly inconceivable, the unanticipated child in Lisbon's womb was icing on a most precious cake.

Turning, Jane glanced back at the house knowing his better half was somewhere inside. Probably curled in her favorite window seat resting a book on the curve of her belly intently watching his every move. She had a habit of doing that when she wasn't out and about beside him which wasn't as often as it used to be. As much as she'd vowed it would never happen, her activities had lessoned the more her pregnancy progressed. Not that he really minded.

While he missed her presence by his side, Jane appreciated his solitary jaunts. He had the opportunity to walk the parameters of their property without alerting Lisbon he was engaging in more than casual exercise. While there had been nothing overt since the Ardiles incident, neither he nor his wife were under any illusions The Blake Association had just faded away. That he wasn't actively in law enforcement any more seemed to hold the monsters in the shadows at bay. Or he hoped it was. Truthfully, he wasn't sure. The B.A.'s were like vipers hiding in tall grass. You didn't sense their presence until you passed the point of no return. Osvaldo learned that the hard way.

That he'd broken the encryption on Bertram's disc not that long after it came into his possession and done nothing with the information was in his favor as well. All in all, between the state-of-the-art security system protecting his property and the various "insurance policies" he had in place, Jane felt confident his growing family was safe for the present. However, that didn't mean he wouldn't remain diligent. Speaking of diligent, if he didn't go inside soon, Lisbon would come looking for him.

Trudging back towards the house, he wasn't all that surprised when the door swung open about the time he finished wiping his feet on the door mat. Leaning in to drop a kiss on Lisbon's cheek, he shrugged out of his winter coat and hung it in the closet. The weather had taken a recent down turn and while he wasn't worried about snow, they wouldn't have any more 70-degree days anytime soon. In fact, he doubted they'd make it to the low 50's by the hottest part of the afternoon. Not if the forecast was right.

"Grace called a few minutes ago." Lisbon followed him into the kitchen. "She wants to get together around seven to watch Maddie open the presents we sent her."

"Sounds like a date." Jane made short work of making two fresh cups of tea. "While technology is a wonderful thing, what do you say to inviting the Rigsby clan for a visit when you feel up to it."

Nodding, Lisbon silently agreed. She didn't need to say, "Next year, after the baby is born." Jane had already said it in his obliquely Jane way.

"Nice walk?" Bringing her cup to her lips, Lisbon hid her tolerant smile. Jane thought she didn't know what he was doing; but, she did, and she appreciated his diligence. In fact, if she was up to a 24 acre stroll, she would have joined him. Even if she thought it was overkill. "See anything that shouldn't be there?"

"Yeah, I did." Jane informed her. "That armadillo I told to stay off our property last week. I found two fresh burrows across the lake so it looks like she's come to stay."

Lisbon snorted and gave up. The story would be funny if it weren't true. He had encountered an armadillo last week and he had told her to vacate the premises along with her four pups. He didn't appreciate having critter holes decorating his property. Personally, she didn't care if they stayed in the back side of hell on the outer edges of their spread and not in her flower garden. The one Jane had created for her with the graceful arched entry and the sun dial in the center. The one where she spent hours lounging on that hand carved bench when she felt too lethargic to move. The one nothing better mess with unless they wanted to get over friendly with the business end of her .38.

"If that's as bad as it gets, I'd say you had a good day." Lisbon snorted. "I'll take one renegade armadillo over our usual marks any day."

As much as she hated to admit it, Jane had rubbed off on her over the years. Try as she might to prevent it, somewhere along the way she'd lapsed into carney speak in her mind. Thinking of the bad guys as "marks" just wasn't as offensive as it used to be. Not anymore. She'd been corrupted and she wasn't apologizing. She kind of liked being Jane's partner in crime. Life was infinitely more interesting.

"So would I." Jane agreed. "Fortunately, we don't have to think about that anymore."

"No, we don't." Lisbon agreed. "Not for a few weeks."

"I'm hoping not ever." Jane reiterated. "You don't have to go back, you know. I have more than enough money to live comfortably the rest of our days."

"Yeah, right." Lisbon snorted. "Like that's ever going to happen. I told you when we got together, I wasn't leaving my job. That hasn't changed."

"A man can dream." Jane answered honestly as he took their empty cups to the sink. "I won't lie to you. I'm still hoping when the time he comes," He nodded in the direction of her belly. "You'll feel differently."

"I wouldn't hold my breath." Lisbon rested her hand on her belly. "We still have six weeks to go and I doubt she'd want her mother to be a stay at home Mom."

She'd been home a whole two weeks and so far, so good. However, between her maternity leave and the month of paid leave she had at her disposal, she had over three months left to go. Lisbon wasn't sure she'd survive it. She never had before. Then again, she hadn't had Jane to keep her company and that was a game changer. Or she thought it was. Only time would tell. However, what she wouldn't tell is she was testing the waters.

If she could survive her leave without going stir-crazy she was seriously considering exiting the work force until their child started pre-school. Maybe longer if she could stand the inactivity. Somehow, she doubted that word would ever apply to their lives. If she didn't watch him, Jane would have a full-blown farm complete chickens nesting in the dilapidated barn behind the house and Jersey cows mooing in the neighboring fields. She might have to draw the line at that. Armadillos were one thing, but creatures big enough to look you eyeball to eyeball were something else entirely. Lisbon shuddered at the thought.

"You do, do you?" Sitting behind her, Jane reached out to take her hand. "Let me set the record straight. As much as you think I want a girl because of Charlotte Anne, I don't." He honestly wasn't sure he could stand it. Not the first time around. "Even if I did, it's a moot point. That kid kicking your insides out is all boy and, I can assure you, he wants his Mom at home. But, since he's like his old man, he'll take what he can get and be happy with it."

"He will, will he?" Lisbon squeezed his hand reassuringly. "Somehow, I don't think his old man has surrendered without a fight. Not just yet."

From the look in Jane's eye, he hadn't. But he wasn't trying to pressure her. In their world, that counted for something. In the end, he'd try. But she wouldn't let him. Not really. She had her ways to diffuse the situation before it got out of hand. Besides, she didn't expect anything different. He couldn't help himself. He was Jane. She'd accepted that a long time ago. More than accepted it. She'd fallen for that Jane and she'd fallen hard. She hadn't regretted it since. Well, maybe she had, once or twice, when he got on her last nerve. But she wouldn't have her life any other way.

"He hasn't." Jane agreed. "But I won't hassle you. Not much anyway. I'll be too busy taking care of our son."

"Yes, you will." Lisbon agreed. "Which is why I'm glad you're not in the field any more. Speaking of taking care of things, the Christmas ornaments came while you were out. What do you say to finally decorating the tree?"

"Sounds like a plan." Jane resisted the urge to remind her he wasn't the one who had to have the fancy ornament collections from the fancy website that advertised their beautiful fake trees on the television for their very live tree. He'd have been happy with whatever they found at the local department store. His wife had other ideas. She'd wanted to commemorate their first Christmas together as man and wife with special, hand-picked decoration that were off the beaten path. He'd agreed and helped her select more decorations than they'd ever need. The stack of the boxes in the living room attested to the truth of the matter. "Let me help you up."

As much as she resented being dependent on anyone, Lisbon took his hand. After all, it was Jane's fault she couldn't see her toes any longer so lending her a hand up was the least he could do. It was her own fault; but she'd wanted to make her lover happy. So, it was still Jane's fault in the end. That was her story and she was sticking to it. Jane was too smart to argue with a pregnant woman.

Waddling into the living room, Lisbon stopped to watch Jane lift an ornate blown glass orb from its cushioned nest. Smiling, he offered it to her before helping her place it carefully on their massive Christmas tree. As much as he'd tried to dissuade her from getting overly ambitious with the decorations, Lisbon was glad she hadn't listened. This felt like her first real family Christmas since her mother died and she knew Jane felt the same. Part of the feeling was who she was with; part was what they were doing. As good as being with Jane was, it wouldn't be the same without new traditions and her recent purchases were a big part of what they were starting.

"Thanks for letting me do all this." Soft lips brushed his cheek. "It means a lot to me."

"You're welcome." Jane leaned over to drop a kiss on her lips as he repositioned her ornament more securely on the branch. "It means a lot to me to."

Entranced by the sudden smile blossoming across her face, Jane decided it meant even more than he'd thought.


End file.
